REV. (DR.) JANET ONAOLAPO
Effective parenting happens when a parent makes available for the child a stable, nurturing home environment and plays a positive and active part in his life.
An effective parent provides moral and spiritual guidance for his child. Parenting is tagged “effective” when it is adequate to accomplish a purpose; producing the intended or expected result in the life of the child.
WHAT IS THIS RESULT?
The result is to groom a child to become an adult of great worth both physically, mentally, socially, spiritually and otherwise.
Parenting is one of the toughest but most fulfilling tasks in the world.
TIPS ON HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE PARENT:
- BE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD’S ENTIRE LIFE:
Effective parenting starts with the parent-child relationship. A parent’s relationship with his or her child will be reflected in the child’s entire life. Though this takes time and a lot of hard work, it is sacrificing your time for your child from birth to hoar hairs.
“Hearken unto me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, which are borne by me from the belly, which are carried from the womb:
And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you” (Isaiah 46:3-4).
- ADAPT TO YOUR CHILD’S AGE:
Keep pace with your child’s development. Parenting changes as the child ages. Parenting a toddler is different from parenting a teenager. For every development stage of the child, a consistent and suitable adjustment is necessary.
- KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF OF YOUR GOAL:
The goal is to groom your child to become an adult of great worth both physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, etc. Don’t just do things, act or react but ask yourself about what you want to accomplish and pursue your goal irrespective of whatever may come your way.
- BE AN EXCELLENT ROLE MODEL:
Model the traits you wish to see in your child(ren). Imbibe in your child(ren) the value of respect, honesty, friendliness, diligence, hard work, love for God, etc. by practicing them. As a role model, the first thing you need to do is to show your child(ren) unconditional love (John 3:16).5. SET AND ESTABLISH RULES:
If you don’t manage your child’s behaviour when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself/herself when he/she is older. Also, set limits for him/her. It is normal for a child to want to be independent but you just have to set the limit. Explain your rules and decisions to the child.
In establishing rules, be consistent. You can be flexible, but don’t ever vary the rules. Discipline your child(ren) when it is appropriate. Don’t spare the rod when necessary so that they do not get
spoilt and the blame eventually comes back to you (Proverbs 22:15, 23:13-14).
- 6. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD:
You can’t expect children to do everything simply because you say so as the parent. Always make your expectations clear (Proverbs 31 – Mother and son). One very important thing to communicate to your child is the Scriptures. Teach him the Scriptures by all means and use it to train him (Deuteronomy 6:7-9, II Timothy 3:16).
- TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT:
The best way to get a respectful behaviour from your child is to treat him respectfully. Don’t forget that respect is reciprocal.
- GIVE HIM A RESPONSIBILITY:
Give your child a responsibility for growth and self-esteem. Don’t try to fix everything. Give your child the chance to find his solution. Let him freely express himself because that is how you can discover his innate abilities and talents.
- BE YOUR CHILD’S BEST FRIEND:
Be close to your child by showing him affection at all times. Pay attention to him/her whenever he/she needs you (Proverbs 17:17a).
- PRAY FOR YOUR CHILD(REN) DAILY:
As a parent, you must be enthusiastic about praying for your child(ren) on a daily basis (Acts